As 2017 comes to an end, I now know that this year has been my greatest ever “teacher”.
This year I found the courage to take action. This year I conquered my fears and emerged into a new life.
And now, in the transition between 2017 and 2018, I can promise myself: never again will I betray my heart.
I promise to remain at the centre of my universe: without compromise, in flow, renouncing all control… guided simply by the “Truth” in my heart.
Before, I was stuck in a period of great fear – fear of living – and hid myself away. I was ashamed of what I was feeling… I may have been alive and on my feet, but it was as if I was paralyzed.
My heart had stopped beating. It lacked the courage and trust to listen to the new truth budding inside me: the change of a lifetime… To love oneself and accept oneself totally is – this I did not yet know – to plunge completely into the flow of life.
The bigger the change waiting in the wings, the harder it is to listen to its call. I felt pain. So many things I would have to change, jeopardizing the certainties of a lifetime… A huge expanse of emptiness to traverse, a bereavement to live through… and it was all inexorably underway… beyond my control…
Fear of change had stopped me from putting “me” at the centre of my own life. It made me feel guilty, like I was being selfish because… Because for the first time I was choosing “ME” as my path, as my way of being.
Time did what time does. The heart won the day… freeing itself from old bonds and known routes. My heart has regained its honour and its courage, its dignity, its freedom, and its truth… Its overwhelming force has me soaring on the breath of life, a rushing gust that expands around and inside me at vertiginous speed…
With great joy, for 2018 I promise myself that I will never, ever betray this love restored.
I know now that loving myself in each and every one of my senses has nothing to do with being self-centred, and everything to do with doing the best I can in this Sacred Metamorphosis of life, this continual surging flow of deaths and rebirths…
Most important of all, it means doing the best I can for all of the people I love, for everything around me that urges me to live in this open flow, fearless and with all sails aloft, love as my lodestar…
My wish for the new year now upon us, a wish that I share with each and every one of you, from my heart to your heart with love, is never to betray our hearts…
Especially, to seek and defend the truth in our heart. Always.